Hier’s ‘n verskeidenheid onderhoude wat ek in die aanloop na die verkiesing met partyleiers gevoer het, regstreeks op Dagbreek.
Kyk, luister & hopelik help dit jou om ‘n ingeligte besluit te neem.
Hier’s ‘n verskeidenheid onderhoude wat ek in die aanloop na die verkiesing met partyleiers gevoer het, regstreeks op Dagbreek.
Kyk, luister & hopelik help dit jou om ‘n ingeligte besluit te neem.
I read Julius Malema’s letter in Beeld (here’s an English version) today and spotted him doing the same thing I’ve been battling to balance recently…
Staying within earshot, but speaking up loud enough to be heard.
For what it’s worth, I’ll put money on Malema not having actually written this letter at all (perhaps he edited it?) – just YouTube any of his speeches before you disagree with me – but I digress.
The thing most people battle with, when we’re really trying to get a message across – wether it’s about convincing your best friend to wear those green jeans because she really has the ass for it, or disagreeing with your folks about gay marriage, or telling people on twitter that black-on-white-racism does exist – is really being heard, but that’s not the key.
I’ve spotted a golden thread, a central principle, let’s call it a “lesson” which has stood out in my own life and in the news stories I’ve read over the last few weeks: To be heard, you need to listen….
1. Reassure first. Especially if they already think they don’t agree with you. Understand them. And don’t think you can fake it – they’ll see right through you and then any chance for building that bridge of understanding will really be game over.
Most people are willing to simply agree to disagree, but only once they feel that you’ve shown a respectful amount of effort to try and understand. Stay within earshot, hear them, twist your ear if need be – but make the effort.
2. Acknowledge. Even simply repeating a message in your own words really gets that across. Stick around for it. Digest it. Invest your time, your consideration. Demonstrate it.
3. Then highlight the crucial difference between their opinion / position / behavior and yours. State it. Don’t apologize for it. Trust that you’ve positioned yourself within earshot – you’re receptive, but not submissive.
Going in like a bull in a china shop, stomping your feet and shooting invisible plumes of steam from your ears might secure the kind of instant release YOU seek, but it’s a sure way of destroying any of the common ground there might be up for grabs.
We need a lot of constructive communication: in this country, in our personal lives and especially on social media.
Too often we enter a conversation guns ablaze, only to miss out on a chance to really connect.
Ironically, this is usually done out of fear of NOT being heard.
Remain within earshot.
Blogging is a lot like going to gym (something I took up in January for the first time).
It’s really fun and quite an adventure at first… and then life gets in the way.
So, I’m that person today who finally makes their return to the treadmill after they’ve spent most of April and May doing the “life” equivalent of pigging out on the couch!
And I even did a bit of work while traveling, as well.
But as much as I love learning about other places and cultures, the most valuable lessons I’ve learnt from traveling has always been about myself. I recommend you leave your home as soon as possible, even if only for a night and even if you simply go to the closest place to where you stay! Because half the satisfaction I get from traveling, lies in what I realise about myself when I return home.
Traveling really isn’t about where you go,
or how long you stay there.
Traveling is about perspective.
Whether your destination is Bloemfontein or Barcelona, Durban or Dubai, you’re guaranteed to return home with a few new things from every trip . Trust me, I’ve been to all of these in the past year and my bags came back much heavier!
But the most valuable things you get to take home with you, won’t cost a cent:
I love what I get to do for a living. I’m incredibly grateful, but it’s as a direct result of my recent travels that I’ve realised how big my comfort zone has become. I don’t think I’m alone in my experience of this as a kind of “quarter life crisis”. I think you reach a point when you start looking at your goals of a few years ago and you come to the shocking realization that you’ll have to start adding to the list.
Nothing you really want will happen unless you make it happen. You’ll only ever get what you’re willing to settle for.
It doesn’t matter how many times the world slams a door in your face,
how many times your extra effort has gone unappreciated,
how many extra miles you’ve gone to achieve your goals – even if it was to no avail.
What matters is that you set goals that utilizes where you’re from, that puts to good use the insight you have gained into who you are and where you fit in and most importantly: set goals that make the process of getting there worth your while.
Because even if you spend the next …forever getting there, once you start doing things for yourself, doing what you really want to do simply because you enjoy doing it, you free yourself up from dreading the journey, you stop living for the destination.
You learn that thanks to those ever-shifting goalposts, the endless list of destinations on our to-do lists, you might as well find the value in coming home from every adventure a little wiser, a little more aware of where you’re from and a little more enlightened about where you want to go.
But mostly, you learn that the real reward lies in gaining value from the process of getting there.
I’d rather drink lukewarm tea than wait for the water to boil properly (I know, it’s bad!).
While sitting in traffic is highly annoying and a 14hour flight feels like a life sentence, strangely enough, these are not the things that get to me most.
I blame my S-E-R-I-A-S impatient pet
dislike hate on… call centres.
Dante 2.0 would’ve added this as the 10th circle of hell, had he lived among us modern humans. In fact, they should make a reality TV show where, in stead of having to eat disgusting things or stand on a 6 foot pole in the blazing sun, contestants have to survive call centers – both working in them and trying to get anything done through them.
It’s this dislike for an automated answering service, the punching in of numbers, holding on forever and eventually – ultimately – collapsing into a frustrating, but futile, fit that informs my distaste.
This thing I dislike so intensely is actually service you used to pay extra for. Something you actually used to buy a machine for!
Something which, on your birthday, is your saving grace – otherwise you’d spend 25 out of the 24hours of the day with a phone to your ear.
You guessed it: I absolutely, positively dread VOICEMAIL.
Am I irrational?
Does it not irritate you when you spend 3 minutes trying to decode some terribly broken up, muffled, whispered or shouted voice message? Or, better yet – my pet favourite, when it’s interrupted by some other noise!
What exactly are you supposed to glean from 15 seconds of distorted audio that sounds like your first car’s Chinese-made radio trying to rap a Jack Parow song?
Surely, if it’s someone you know, you’ll see the missed call from them or better yet – they can what’s app you, bbm you, text you, mail you or tweet you if it’s urgent.
Or even – how’s this for novel – phone again later if you haven’t phoned them yet, since the lack of a message must mean it’s just for a good social chat? The Catholic Church still specialize in smoke signals and hey, be my guest if you’re all for retro, but would it be rude to just disable my voicemail altogether?
I tend to put off listening to voicemails and eventually forget about them. Or I’d be on a flight or in a movie and when I switch my phone on again I’d be so bombarded by the collected texts, whats apps, tweets and mails that are delivered at once, that phoning a number to spend 3 minutes trying to make my way through my voicemail menu to sort, save, delete and reply to messages just honestly seems like a pain.
Am I turning into a recluse?
Anti-social and unable to communicate vocally? I doubt that, since I communicate for a living.
I think it’s just natural to want to have more control over the sheer volume of it in your daily life.
Ek kan van Maandag af vir Riaan Cruywagen my kollega noem.
Dis myns insiens die ultimate claim to fame – iets waaroor ek mateloos opgewonde is. Skakel Maandagoggend in, ek hoor hy gaan ook nie noodwendig ‘n pak dra nie
Sedert ek die eerste keer in
‘n live TV ateljee ingestap het op die 1ste Augustus 2008, wou ek nog altyd net een ding doen: om daagliks terug te gaan! Daar’s min dinge só ontsaglik senutergend en uitdagend soos live TV, maar om op 26 al die geleentheid te kry om aan ‘n daaglikse TV program van hierdie omvang en verskeidenheid te werk (saam met ‘n uiters talentvolle span) is geweldig bevredigend en ‘n enorme voorreg.
So, ingeval jy uitgemis het op enige van (of selfs al) die lekker mense wat ek al oor die afgelope 3 maande op Dagbreek ontmoet het en al die interessante dinge wat ons al bespreek het, het ek nou vir jou ‘n paar klein clips uit ‘n verskeidenheid onderhoude bymekaar gemaak – ter illustrasie van presies hoekom vroeg-opstaan deesdae vir my só lekker is!
Gister oggend, voor meeste mense nog aan ontbyt gedink het, het ek die kans gekry om die wêreld-bekende Amerikaanse skrywer Jodi Picoult te ontmoet en uit te vra oor haar nuwe boek. (!!)
Die onderhoud was (in my nederige opinie) heeltemal te kort – maar dis mos maar die aard van die uitsaaiwese, tyd is kosbaar. Soos wat jy sal sien was ek baie haastig om soveel as moontlik vrae in te prop in ons kort gesprek, maar gelukkig het sy lekker bondig saamgesels.
Hier’s ‘n klein stukkie van ons gesprek:
Op 10 Janaurie het ek die kans gekry om met die Adjunk Minister van Gesondheid, Dr Gwen Ramakgopa te gesels oor voorgestelde wetgewing wat die vertoon van sigarette in winkels sal stopsit:
Die voortslepende geweld op plase in die Wes-Kaap was laasjaar al groot nuus en ekt op 22 November 2012 die geleentheid gehad om die Wes-Kaapse Sekretaris van COSATU hieroor uit te vra:
En ter viewing van Dagbreek se eerste dag op die lug, op 5 November 2012, het Zapiro (oftewel Jonathan Shapiro) by ons in die ateljee ‘n draai kom maak om die aap uit die mou te laat oor sy mees onlangse spotprent-boek “…But Will It Stand Up In Court?” en hoekom Pres Jacob Zuma sy hoogs omstrede siviele saak oor die ‘Rape of Lady Justice’ prent teen Zapiro laat vaar het:
Are you feeling a little overwhelmed with all the looming pressure of 2013? While everyone else seems excited and prepared, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to carpe diem the
shit life out of the great new expanse of fresh starts waiting for all of us in 2013… Are you the grinch of New Years’ Eve?
Well, even if you’re not quite as out-there on the 1 to grinch scale of New Years’ Eve naffness, but you’re feeling a little… mild… about all the hoohaa. Here’s something to get amped about.
In fact, I’ve got 10 reasons, at least one of them should get your heart aflutter. If not, check for a pulse.
ASAP, as in January 15th – that’s when A$AP Rocky will drop his debut album featuring acts like Lana del Rey, Santigold, Kendrick Lamar, 2 Chainz, Drake, Big K.R.I.T., Yelawolf, Danny Brown, Action Bronson, Florence Welch etc.
His rumoured girlfriend, the lady with the filthiest mouth on the charts, Azealia Banks will also drop her HIGHLY anticipated debut offering on 212 – also known as New York’s telephone code, the 12th of February, her debut single or all of the above. You choose.
And then from two bright young things, to a lady of some pop music pedigree. Florian Cloud de Bounevialle Armstrong, a.k.a. Dido, is back. 10 years after White Flag, she’s put together a new offering sampling the talents of her brother Rollo (one half of Faithless) as well as breakout Britpop hit makers Rizzle Kicks. Let’s hold thumbs they spice up her ethereal awesomeness just a bit, since I still think her work is best appreciated when juxtaposed with Eminem’s…
‘Paramore’ (April 9th)
Their self-titled fourth studio album, the first in three years, will also be their first without founding members Josh and Zac Farro. Produced by Justin Meldal-Johnson (M83, Neon Trees) and featuring former Nine Inch Nails and Lostprophets and current Angels & Airwaves drummer Ilan Rubin. Nice!
Have I mentioned that I might have a teeny tiny girl-crush on Hayley?
50 Cent – ‘Street King Immortal ’
After umpteen delays and soap opera-style long-running tension with his record label, Fiddy’s overdue, extensively reworked fifth full-length is due in February – reportedly to coincide with the 10th anniversary of his 2003 debut Get Rich or Die Tryin’. Let’s hope he doesn’t actually die trying’ – it’s taking long enough!
Lady Gaga – ARTPOP
There’s no official release date yet, but Lady Gaga has dropped plenty of hints about the project, aside from its name (“When POP sucks the tits of ART,” she declared on Twitter), she’s revealed that she’s written more than 50 songs for the album. A multi-media release, it will be available as a mobile and computer app, complete with a film for every song and Gaga-inspired games. Photographer Terry Richardson will chronicle every minute of its creation for a documentary, as well. Go big or go…. Monster, ne?
It’s only been 18 months since her last album 4 – and less than a year since she gave birth to daughter Blue Ivy — but with a Super Bowl gig and a Pepsi campaign on the books, Queen B will undoubtedly give the BeyHive new songs to buzz about. The big question is wether she’ll drop the debut single of her new album on Ivy’s B-day (Jan 7th) or on Superbowl night (Feb 3rd)…
It’s hard to believe that all of her massive success (EIGHT hit singles!) came from just one album. 2010′s “Teenage Dream” debuted at no1 on the Billboard album chart – so, how do you top that?
Well, you reunite with the old team Greg Wells (“Waking Up in Vegas,” “Ur So Gay”) and Bonnie McKee (“Teenage Dream”, “Last Friday Night” and “California Gurls”). Recent songwriting and production credits by Greg Wells include working with Adele Colbie Caillat Kid Cudi
Following the break-up of her marriage to comedian Russell Brand, she admitted: ‘I would love the next album to be the black box of who I am.’ However she denied that the entire album would have such a focus, saying: ‘I’d never devote a whole record to heartbreak. ‘I’m happy, I’m in a good place, I’m looking forward to my future.’ She’s currently dating John Mayer – who wouldn’t be?
They definitely haven’t been Taking it Easy!
103 live shows
4 international tours
6 number 1 hit tracks.
GoodLuck have been in constant demand this year. Their recent mixtape ‘The Lucky Packet’ launched a month ago and has already positioned them as the number 1 selling electronic act on the iTunes South Africa charts. They’ll see in 2013 by taking some time out of their performance schedule to start work on album number 2.
Can. Not. WAIT!
Kanye’s producer No I.D. and longtime pals Dr. Dre & 50 Cent are firmed to be on Slim Shady’s next effort, which is confirmed to arrive in 2013 as the follow-up to 2010’s “Recovery”. He’s also headlining the Leeds and Reading Festivals in England in August, so expect at least something from him by then. In the meantime, you can buy his baseball cap. It’s for a good cause.
Happy 2013 – here’s to much more awesomeness in your ears, for the 12 months ahead!
My random tip for the festive season? 2 Words: Take pictures.
It might seem abstract, or random, or unimportant – but trust me on this.
I was looking at a blank wall in my house again recently with the same kind of frustration most blank walls usually give me: what do we fill this with? It’s not that I don’t have ideas, but the process of picking one idea and then executing it (see: actually hanging it!) always derails before it’s done.
Shall we buy a piece of art?
Or a cool picture?
Print something on vinyl or a big canvas?
Just paint the wall or wallpaper it?
These were only a few of the ideas I had swimming in my head every time I took a long hard look at the daunting gap, and then there’d always be a reason why it should wait. For now.
Then, a few weeks ago, I rediscovered pictures of all the random and rather awesome things Richard and I have seen on our travels over the past year and I felt like we needed a way to hold on to a few of the moments from 2012 that really stood out. And by holding on, I mean in a more concrete way than storing it on a hard drive… which really, is like a well hidden bookshelf!
Where better to do this, than on my random blank guest room wall? *Lightbulb Moment of NOTE*
So I pored over a shortlist of about 9 pictures, graded and cropped them in a multitude of ways, only to finally decide on three pictures – mostly kept in their original color and crop BTW!
The first of my final selection was taken at the Louvre, in Paris. Richard loved this shot immediately and luckily he took a few versions of it, so I had a number of variations to pick from! I love that it’s not obvious that it’s a picture of one of the most photographed structures in the world. To me it’s about the clouds and the reflective but transparent structure beneath it. It almost feels as if the dark, heavy sky rests on the glass..but then the slant throughs it all off balance.
The next one was teen by me, at the iconic La Sagrada Familia (the Church of the Holy Family) in Barcelona, Spain. It’s an absolutely magnificent church, but even more so an architectural treasure conceptualized by Gaudi. Construction started in 1882, and is STILL ongoing – it will hopefully be completed in 2026…! It is already, in it’s unfinished state, one of the most beautiful buildings I’ve ever seen with my own eyes. There is not a single right angle in the entire building and just look at the magnificent nave. All of the shapes are inspired by nature… I was speechless.
On the door that will be the main entrance to La Sagrada Familia when the church is complete, the Lord’s Prayer is carved out in bronze. Along with it, the words “Give us this day our daily bread” in 50 languages. I managed to get a shot showing the Dutch and English sentences close together. I love the washed out colour of the bronze and the way this seems like random letters at first, but says so much more when you look closely.
And the last of this trilogy of awesomeness was taken in the desert outside Dubai on a desert safari earlier this year. I didn’t think I’d enjoying going on a desert safari as much as I did – I can HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who has a stopover or a few days in Dubai. I think it’s such an important alternative to the bling of what is really an uber-modern and very young city. It gives excellent context to the glitz, glamour and, frankly, superficial indulgence that is often perceived to be synonymous with Dubai.
I like the fact that this combination of images have plenty of texture but also a soothing kind of simple abstract charm to them.
AND 1 of the three was actually taken on a phone and not even on our proper camera – I dare you to figure out which!
And the moral of the story? When in doubt, snap away. Wether it’s on a phone or a proper camera, especially when you’re traveling, wether it be to Parys or Paris.
You never know, a random moment somewhere might make the perfect compliment to a blank space in your life, somewhere along the line!
As I read his latest comments, I realised that almost all of the online hate I’ve received over the years have been from men – or profiles with male names and profile pictures. Luckily I know how to use the “block”, “ban” and “report” functions on Facebook, twitter and WordPress. It did however get me thinking – since we’re right in the thick of things with the annual 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-based Abuse and Violence campaign.
Where does one end and the next begin? Abuse, after all is not just something measured in bruises and blue eyes. NO.
If you’re the victim of any of these, should you simply delete, block and ignore? Or should the victim stand up, fight, speak out and ring the alarm?
I’ve always assumed that being on the receiving end of serious insults – and at other times mere mockery – online was simply the unavoidable dark side to making use of the platforms that also provide the awesome opportunity to engage with thousands of listeners and viewers in positive ways. If there was some sort of balance to the insults and the variety of people they come from, it would seem utterly harmless and general; but, the concerning trend I’ve noticed is that when the victim is a woman the perpetrator seems to almost always be (or appear to be) male. This is often not just random hate mail, it’s sexism – and it’s often akin to verbal abuse. So, should we simply take it on the chin and move on? NO.
The Prime Minister of Australia recently spoke out against an online “sexist smear campaign” against her, but cyber abuse is unfortunately not limited to victims with a public profile (no matter how big or how small, from Julia to little old me). It happens to women who go about their daily life in relative privacy as well. It can range from something ridiculous like a guy nagging you to comment on his man boobs (?!) by endlessly spamming you from various fake accounts – as is the case for one female twitter follower /friend of mine. And it also gets much, much worse! Johannesburg-based twitter user and real-life television producer @TheJoLurie was the victim of a truly hair-raising case of cyber abuse. Below are excerpts from a blog she posted in August, in response:
“Here’s what … I’ve been on the receiving end of… You’ve wished cancer, rape and death on me. You’ve bullied me. You’ve threatened me with legal action. You’ve promised me I will rue the day I had a standpoint on morality. You’ve guaranteed me that you will ensure my career will suffer for it. … Do I wish I had thicker skin? Yes. Should I toughen up? Probably. You’ve posted some really intensely personal things about me (which have since been removed) in the comments of not only my blog, but on blogs I have contributed to. … Your character and your influence is not measured by how many followers you have, but who you are when you’re not anonymously lurking in the shadows of the internet.”
Truly shocking, but since these attacks are perpetrated by the faceless – the anonymous – there is often no repercussion. For her, the loudest, clearest way to say NO was posting that blog.
After I posted a status on this topic on Facebook, a user on my page called Luke Hattori commented that I should just “get used to it”. It happens. It has become the way of the internet. So, shall we just delete abusive messages in much the same way we’d brush aside the insults of an anonymous drunk on a street corner? NO.
Think about what happened to Darren Scott. After making a terrible, racist remark toward a colleague – a mistake he admitted to and publicly apologized for – he found himself out of employment in a heartbeat. And what about Jessica Leandra, the model who infamously made racist remarks on Twitter and in the process lost a lucrative sponsorship and retreated eventually by closing down her account…
The sensitive issue of racism elicits an immense response, and rightly so. But, what about sexism? And verbal or, in this case, written /non-verbal abuse? And, does it make any less wrong if it’s done anonymously? NO.
Can you imagine what the repercussions might have been for @TheJoLurie ‘s attacker if his/ her colleagues, friends, family and followers had seen him make these abusive remarks, wishing “cancer, rape and death” upon Jo, on a public platform like twitter?
I fear online anonymity affords trolls, bullies and, ultimately, abusers a slippery slope down which to slide into the depths of what would perhaps otherwise have remained a well-hidden and inhibited tendency to abuse.
Is the online platform to blame? NO. The internet is a tool, the same tool carrying this message of mine around the world can, sadly, also be misused to inflict gender-based online abuse.
As a user of any online platform, you are left exposed and vulnerable to this kind of abuse, but you also have rights. In my opinion, you even have the obligation to other users who might in fall prey to this predator in future. You need to block and report abusers immediately. Fight the fight with every tool at your disposal! There are various ways of saying NO.
If you feel your dignity has been impaired, no matter how private the attack might seem, you deserve a remedy, whatever assistance you need and protection.
You deserve to say NO.
Nadat ons vanoggend ons eerste episode van DAGBREEK gepleeg het, is my adrenalien-kwota vir die dag geheel en al opgebruik. Live TV doen dinge aan ‘n mens.
Dalk is dit hoe jy na die naweek voel?
Ook maar goed dat Bittereinder toe gou hierdie lekker nommer, die titelsnit van hulle nuwe album DieDinkDansMasjien, as ‘n mahala download vrygestel het vir my (en jou) luistergenot!
Ek skryf hier veral om diegene wat nog nooit met hulle musiek kennis gemaak het nie, se lewe te verander. Jy mis uit.
En as ek nou preek vir die ouderlinge, kom ons waardeer net gou vir ‘n oomblik saam die musiek. En die liriek. Dis after allMaandag. Toe, jy verdien ‘n stukkie pouse van die meedoënlose werklikheid van ‘n nuwe week.
Ek luister die nuwe liedjie op die oomblik graag oor en oor want ek hoor elke keer ‘n nuwe rympie wat by my vassteek… Amper nes ek aan die begin vasgehaak het by Die Waarskuwing, op hulle eerste album.
‘n Liedjie waarvan die lirieke op sigself reeds ‘n meesterstuk is.
In my opinie.